www.21stcenturymummy.com

Hope to see you there x

I booked an 8pm appointment, counting on the fact my 3 year would be asleep (and she was!). The therapist set up in my bedroom, I put on some music and lit candles. The treatment was an hour long, which was good because often they are only 50 minutes and I’m always left wanting more. It was fantastic, I definitely drifted off a couple of times. The best thing about it was that when she left I was already home and I could relax. The only downside was my bedroom was a bit cold but the therapist did cover me in towels.

There’s something to be said about having a massage at a spa because of the pampering and the environment. But, there’s also something to be said about having a massage in the comfort of your own home. You can relax, you don’t have to drive anywhere, and you can collapse straight into bed.

The company, set up in 2009, has grown rapidly, with therapists available across the UK, attracting film stars, supermodels, TV presenters, corporate and fashion clients, and busy working mums. They offer from pregnancy massage, reflexology, facials and waxing, to make up lessons or special occasion makeup, hair styling and pamper parties (and Princess Parties for 5-16 year olds too)

The cost: a one hour massage with Blossom and Jasmine is £55. It’s not unusual to have to spend £90 for an hour’s massage in London, so the prices are very reasonable.

www.blossomandjasmine.com Tel: 020 3137 7170

(They are available across the UK).

Firstly, take the perfect age, every age has pros and cons and actually, everyone is different. And this is assuming you can actually have a child when you plan it. Where some might make great mums in their 20s, others (such as myself) might make better mums in their 30s or even 40s. For some people, all they’ve ever wanted to to is be a mum, for others, starting a family is the furthest thing from their mind, they want a career and a life first.

I look at myself when I was in my teens and even in my 20s, I was selfish and irresponsible and could barely look after myself. To sum up my 20s, I graduated from Uni (and partied); then I travelled, got into debt (and partied); then moved to London (and partied). It took a while for my career to get off the ground as it was smack bang in the middle of the last recession (but I still managed to party).

Marriage and children were the furthest things from my mind and I didn’t honestly think I was child-bearing material. PLUS, there was one major thing missing – the right man for the job! I didn’t meet him until I was 29, and at 25 he was a toyboy! He certainly wasn’t interested in settling down.

It never even entered my head to think about children until my 30s, after I got married. Then it seemed like the natural thing to do. I had my daughter when I was 33 (after 1 miscarriage). I was in a good financial position, I’d done my partying, I had a good career and I was ready emotionally to be a mum. And I did have a maternal instinct afterall (it kicked in the minute she was born). I think I make a great mum now but I wouldn’t have done if I’d have been younger.

So although perhaps physically it’s better to have children younger, there are so many other things to factor into the equation. Surely there’s no such thing as ‘the perfect age’, just the ‘perfect time for you’?

Part 2 – The Perfect Gap to follow.

For many years, in fact since I came back from an 18-month around-the-world backpacking trip, when I was 23, it’s been my ambition to go away again. I’ve lived in Paris and Sydney and now London, but I’ve wanted to escape the UK for a long time. I feel like I have been stuck in this city unable to get out, despite knowing there’s so much more to the world. I’ve been desperate for a new adventure but it’s hard when you’ve got a family. Just the thought of doing new things and meeting new people gets me excited. I get a feeling, a sense of anticipation, and of being really and truly alive. I don’t get it with anything else. That’s probably why I’ve worked in the travel industry and am now a travel journalist (among other things).

I first went to Singapore as part of my backpacking trip. My first experience of it left a distinct impression on me, and memories I will never forget. It was clean and litter-free. We went to Sentosa Island, where my friend lost her bikini bottoms as she slid down a giant waterslide. We went the night safari, that was just like being in Jurassic Park. We stood outside Raffles – looking very scruffy! What sealed my love of the city was going out one evening with a few friends to Boat Quay. We were on a budget of $10 for the night each – this equated to 2 beers. We started chatting to a guy next to us. He had just won a multi-million pound deal and was celebrating. He ended up paying for all our drinks for the rest of the evening! I remember thinking then that I wanted to come back as an expat one day. It’s funny because my mother lived there with my grandmother, when she was young, and my other grandmother lived there too.

15 years later (wow, I feel old), it’s happening. We’re moving to Singapore. I’ve wanted, fought for this in fact, for a long time and I can’t believe we’re going. After a huge amount of hard work and determination over the past couple of years (and I’m sorry to say a whole lot of nagging from me), my husband has managed to land himself a fantastic job over there and I’m so proud of him.

So now it’s my turn to live the expat lifestyle. We’re heading to the warm weather, a clean and safe city, that’s great for families. Instead of going to Surrey or Berkshire or even Amsterdam for the weekend, we’ll be heading to Bali or Borneo or Hong Kong. Now that is seriously cool!

I’m happy, excited but scared and nervous too. It’s a pretty big thing we’re doing. I don’t even know where to start and I’m trying not to think about leaving family (the Grandparent’s are devasted we’re taking their Granddaughter away from them) and friends behind.

This is the start of a new adventure that my husband, 3 year old and I will be sharing together. Bring it on!

(There’s one more very exciting thing happening in my life, all will be revealed soon!)

I was recently asked by Photobox if I’d like to review their services in exchange for a credit. Having just been to my Grandparents’ 50th Wedding Anniversary party at Phyllis Court in Henley, I thought it would be a great opportunity to create a photobook of the day to give to them for Christmas.

The photobooks are customisable. You can choose everything from the size, to the cover and the layout. You can also pick premium quality paper and a sleeve to keep the photobook in. I picked an A4 hardback photobook (starts at £23.99 for 26 pages).

It did take a while for me to work out how to use the Photobox photobook system, which was a bit frustrating. But, once I’d got to grips with it, it was fantastic (and very addictive). Being a complete perfectionist, I spent hours swapping pictures around, using different formats (ie 1, 2, 3+ pictures to a page) and changing the order of pages. You can add text on each page too if you want.

Once I’d ordered it, it only took a few days to arrive. So was I happy with the result? Yes, definitely. I’m sure my Grandparents will love it too. I’m going to do our honeymoon album next (we only got married 5 years ago!).

These photobooks from Photobox make great Christmas presents.

http://www.photobox.co.uk/shop/photo-books

p.s. I just wanted to say thanks to Elizabeth at Photobox for waiting so patiently for this to go up on my site!

I pride myself in having never been caught out by email scams or “phishing” as it’s also called.

I always laugh when hoax emails go around with “you can win a case of Veuve Clicquot champagne if you refer 10 friends” or “get a free IPhone/Laptop or whatever”. I have kept well away from dodgy email from banks and Nigerians wanting money, or sick stories about little children supposedly orphaned in the Tsunami or that have been kidnapped. I usually go to Hoax-slayer.com to prove to whichever family/friend has forwarded them to me, that they are in fact a hoax.

That is until last week when I’m embarrassed to say I got caught out, hook, line and sinker.

Part 1

I got a call last week from my bank’s fraud team. There had been an unusual transaction attempt which they had stopped – some technical product in the USA. There were 3 other transactions also on the account which weren’t anything to do with me. After a spanish inquisition, they thankfully said I’d get my money back. It was puzzling how someone had got hold of my card details, especially as the transactions were on secure sites – which meant they had my verified by Visa password. But, as it was all sorted out in terms of getting the money back, I didn’t think much more about it.

Part 2

I also recently received an email from HMRC & Customs saying I’d had a tax refund. “Great”, I thought, ideas of what to spend it on flooded my brain – not that you can get much for £250! Without thinking, I filled out the form that was attached and pressed send, thinking about the winter coat I would go and buy. The form didn’t go through properly so I made a note to call HMRC to find out what the problem was (no alarms bell went off in my head)

Part 3

Then today, I reopened the email and the form and started filling it in again. Straight away I noticed a spelling mistake (not sure how missed it the first time), then it suddenly began to dawn on me. My clearly rusty cogs in my brain started whirring and my dormant brain cells slowly came to life. It wanted all my bank details including my Verified by Visa password which I had previously filled in unquestioningly. That is the kind of thing my Grandmother would do, not me.  It all clicked into place – this would explain the dodgy transactions that required a password! Where was my brain that day?

I immediately rang HMRC who confirmed what I already knew – it was a hoax. I was so cross with myself. I like to think I’m an intelligent person that wouldn’t be fooled by something so stupid. Just goes to show how easy it is to get caught out.

If you happen to get an email from the HMRC saying you’ve got a tax refund, don’t be fooled like I was. DELETE DELETE DELETE.

The article on Yahoo also give 10 ways to protect yourself against it.

Have you ever been caught out?

@AmphibianAvenger filmed this at the Aviaros del Caribe sloth sanctuary in Costa Rica – the world’s only sloth orphanage. Baby 2 and 3 toed sloths, whose mother’s have either been run over or zapped by power lines are brought to the sanctuary and looked after by legendary sloth whisperer Judy Arroyo.

THEY ARE TOO CUTE!!!

Mini Necklaces start from £110.

1. Don’t take on too much.

Take the pressure off by being realistic what you can or can’t do.  Instead of organising Pre-Christmas Drinks, why not push them back to January, when it’s miserable and people need cheering up.

2. Don’t be afraid to say NO!

This is where I fall down again, and again, and again! If you receive endless invitations to pre-Christmas gatherings, kids’ Christmas parties etc., only say yes to one or two, to keep things manageable.

3. Delegate

You can’t do everything (unless you want end up in a frazzled heap). Divide chores between your family. Give jobs to your husband/partner e.g. let him organise the Christmas tree or send him out to do the food shopping, older kids can wrap presents. Get everyone helping with the Christmas lunch too.

4. Christmas Cards

Quite frankly, I writing Christmas Cards a huge chore. So instead, do an email to friends/family with a Christmas picture of your family attached. It’s quicker, you save money, and it’s way better for the environment. We give the money saved from buying cards/stamps to a charity. (I still do post a few Christmas cards to Grannies etc).

4. Get organised

It’s not rocket science. Many of us are guilty of leaving everything to the last minute. Write lists of what you need to do and buy, do things like present shopping in November, so you’re not panic-buying on Christmas Eve. Prepare as much of the Christmas lunch (if you’re the one cooking it) the day before.

5. Shop online

The internet can be a godsend if you’re a mum. Instead of having to trudge through the shops, child in tow, do your Christmas shopping online. It’s quick and you can do it in the comfort of your own home, when your kids are in bed. If you do go shopping, think of what you need to get and for whom, first. This will save you walking aimlessly around for hours.

6. Limit travel if you can

No one likes long car journeys. If you have to see both yours and your partners families (and hundreds of relatives), why not arrange to see one set a few weeks before/after Christmas.

7. Factor your children into the equation when making plans.

They won’t enjoy endless long car journeys or having to permanently be on their best behaviour when doing the rounds of Great-grandparents, Great Aunt Flo and long lost cousins.

8. Think of yourself.

It’s impossible to please everyone, although if you’re like me, then you’ll try very hard. It’s important that you enjoy Christmas too, so think of how you’d like to spend this Christmas. How about spending Christmas abroad one year?

10. Don’t panic

If you’re stressed and not enjoying yourself, your children will pick up on it. It may in turn make them feel tense and they could end up playing up, making things  whole lot worse! If you do feel yourself getting anxious, sit down, have a glass of wine, and take some deep breaths.

And remember, it really doesn’t have to be perfect!